It was a question raised by my 12-year-old brother, who thought everything fake hair was gross. And he wasn’t trying to be subtle about it either.
Sometimes—most of the times—I despise my brother. He’s arrogant and incessantly infatuated with money and material. Part of that love he acquired from his god, my older 20-year-old brother, who planted the seed of need and greed within his baby brother. It’s all very disgusting.
I mean come on. An 11/12 (do not remember his age, really) year-old who’s rocking 120-dollar shoes, gold chains, and fitted, name-brand shirts (I wish I knew the name of so you guys would believe me)? Who would want a kid brother who is more fueled by money than a college student who—if it weren’t for her overpriced meal plan (and her healthnut gut)—would be counting her blessings for sodium-rich, chemical-dense ramen?
But on rare occasions, I notice that underneath the grotesque, putrid money-fueled motives, the disrespectful attitudes towards people who want to correct him, and the ignorance of not knowing just how small he is, sometimes, the kid speaks wisdom.
He saw me try and straighten out my artificial hair. And from here on I’ll refer it as a wig/weave because who says “artificial hair” anyways? I was just running my fingers through it about once or twice just to smoothen it out.
Brother: Why do you do that as if it’s yours?
Me: I can’t brush hair anymore? (or something like that)
Brother: [the title of this post]. Exit stage left.
And I thought nothing of it because I just didn’t have time for long explanations. Especially those of which were going to fall on deaf ears. It’s not like he’ll ever be wit enough (or bored enough) to find his outspoken sister’s blog, but I think I’ll spill anyways: Why don’t I just be natural?
For one, I think I’m pretty natural enough. Don’t need to wake up 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 45 minutes early to plaster on eyelashes and face paint. I can easily roll out of bed straighten up my weave and, even with deep bags under my eyes, smile in the mirror and think of how blessed I am to look this good without makeup.
Second, I’m tootaally natural. My hair is free of perms, straighteners, dyes, etc. It’s long (or rather big, because, you know, afros) with little to no dangly pieces from nasty, irreversible heat damage, and when I do want to straighten it (which is never), it bounces right back. Wanna know why it’s healthy?
Because I’m not always natural. I wear weaves.
What the heck Blossom, are you or aren’t you natural?!
Let’s set things straight: weaves/fake hair/extensions are the beeestttt thing you can do for your hair if you are black and natural. Why? Because you can do virtually annyyyything to your temporary fake hair without suffering permanent consequences to the natural hair underneath. I can dye my weave, straighten my weave, cut my weave, but at the end of the day (or month), I can take it out and my black afro is still a black afro.
Need straight hair for a (closeminded) event? Weave.
Got a photoshoot coming up that demands straight hair? Weave.
Just don’t feel like fluffing my fro out every day and want to give my hair a rest from the heat, the cold, or my own hands? Weave.
When put in correctly, fake hair is the secret to having long hair, in my opinions. Of course, you still have to take care of your hair underneath or it’ll be moldy and disgusting, but fake hair is such a great way to protect your naps underneath and still be versatile with your hairstyles.
Related: How to Use Tea to Stop Shedding
Wigs are the absolute best, if I might add. Because sometimes you just need straight hair for one day. Then you just cornrow your fro and top on a wig and you’re socially acceptable!
I know what you’re thinking: wigs are for the bald but stop! You’re gonna prove my point before I can.
Several sources (the first 4 on google) support that the Egyptians came up with the virtue of wigs to, yes, hide their baldness, but they were bald in the first place because natural hair was too much to handle in the hot sun! See? Natural hair is a hassle. So much of a hassle, people just cut theirs off.
So why don’t I go in and join them? Because that would defeat the purpose of the versatility I am going for. I like that I’m free to go from my natural poof, to braids, to loosely coiled, to straight hair all in one month if I really wanted to. I love that I can be versatile yet natural all at once.
Am I addicted to fake hair? I just recently made a video about makeup and how young teens are more addicted to makeup than ever. Even though I admire and strongly recommend the use of extensions, I’m the least bit addicted to it. I’ve went months without fake hair and never do I think I’d look (or someone else would look) prettier if my hair was any different (and if you do that, shame on you).
Little brother, if you hadn’t already caught my drift, I temporarily have in fake hair but underneath this straight hair are the rough, course, African locks momma blessed us with. And if you don’t believe me, I’ll let you see my cornrows before I go to bed.
What’s your stance on fake hair? Makeup? Fake boobs/butt. Being natural?
By the way, if you were too enthralled to click the link before, here’s the video you’ve all been waiting for.